Is positive reinforcement always positive?
Earlier today we were out running errands. And at a traffic light we saw a lady and her dog stop to wait for the green. She looked down at the cute little dude, and he did a perfect dog sit. Then, he looked up at her expectantly, and Elgielene and I both said, “Oh, he’s about to get some positive reinforcement (aka a treat). And sure ’nuff, the lady reached into her pocket, popped out a little morsel, and the dog gulped it down. Success.
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Positive reinforcement works great with dogs.
When our two (now deceased) Labs, Zazzo and NestlÄ“ were puppies, we saw how quickly they did what we wanted them to when a treat was available. And it was great to see them learn and behave better and better. Because if you don’t train your dog to do the right thing, you’re gonna regret it. In so many ways.
But what about people?
Should you give treats to little kids as a way training them up, too? Yes. And no. I know most people will disagree with me when I say human kids are not the same as puppies. But I’m gonna risk the ridicule and stick with that assertion.
Kids have a distinct advantage over puppies. They’re both designed BY God. But only kids are designed LIKE God. No, I don’t mean God was designed. C’mon, what planet were you born on? Then, He wouldn’t be God. I mean only human kids are designed in the image and LIKEness of God. And most people on the planet don’t believe that. So, that’s why I say most people will disagree with me.
Anyway, back to kids and positive reinforcement.
Now, before I go any further, keep in mind this is a rule of thumb. (Side note: the expression “rule of thumb” supposedly came from an English law that allowed a man to beat his wife with a stick as long as it wasn’t thicker than his thumb. And that should’ve been “longer” not “thicker”. But when humans make laws, what do you expect?) Now, where was I?
Oh yeah. Most of the time kids will become better adults when the proper amounts of positive AND negative reinforcement are applied. Gasp! “Did he just say negative reinforcement, too?”
Yeah, you’ve seen them. I know you have. Those bratty kids in stores with their moms. They cry and scream over every little thing not going their way. And those poor (ignorant) moms keep trying to win the kids over with treats and promises of treats.
And that so-called positive reinforcement almost never works.
But a little negative reinforcement goes a long way.
The board of education applied to the seat of knowledge can put a stop to a lot of foolish behavior. And yes, kids tend to be foolish. Until they learn how not to be. But…here’s the catch. They don’t tend to learn without being taught. I know. That’s radical outside-the-box thinking. But it’s true.
So, here’s a little positive talk for those of you doing the most important job in the world, raising kids. Before all else fails (not when) see what God says about raising kids. Do more of what He says. And don’t be surprised when things go exponentially better. Like I said, rule of thumb. There will be knucklehead exceptions.
There’s my public service announcement for the day. And here are the lyrics to a little musical endorsement for it. FunderCast subscribers get the song delivered to their inboxes.
Child Of The Living God
I am not a silly chance…
Not a random circumstance.
I am not a lucky dance
In an accidental place.
I am not a spark of light
That evolved from darkest night.
If you say I did, I might
Have to make a funny face… “˜cause…
I am a child of God…child of the Living God…
The One who spoke and made the universe.
I am a child of God…child of the Living God…
The One who saved me from my sinful curse.Ӭ(repeat)
I did not come out of slime.
That would take way too much time.
You can clearly see that I’m
A whole lot more than simple dirt.
Take a closer look and see
Information runs through me
From The One Who sets me free.
Listen now to my alert…
Chorus
© 2010 Tony Funderburk
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Author, Podcaster, Poet, Singer-Songwriter, Voiceover Guy. In each article and each episode of the FunderCast, Tony Funderburk shares flashes of light from the power of God's love. Tony's the author and publisher of 34 books (and counting) for adults and kids, thousands of articles, and a songwriter with hundreds of songs to his credit. Get some free songs, a book for kids, and daily flashes of light about the power of God's love, when you subscribe to The FunderFlash Journal today. TonyFunderburk.com