Tony Funderburk

Now, don’t let this spook you, but I’m gonna show you the main ingredients you need so you’ll know how to control the universe. And don’t let those scientists who say the universe is expanding deter you from taking on this task. It’s do-able if you have the right stuff. Are you ready? Good, let’s go…

First off, you’re gonna need to know how to get the universe going in the first place. And you’ll need a rough idea of how long your materials can last and what they’ll be made of.

Next…get yourself some awesome light sources, water, oxygen, and as many of the elements as you can. You’ll need them to build the right kinds of planets, moons, suns, and other heavenly bodies to form a functioning and cohesive universe. After all…we don’t want it to just splatter all over the place, do we?

Now…if you have all those ingredients, here’s something to ponder…at least for a few minutes or so. You need to have what marketers call an “end game.”

In other words, you must answer these two questions…

1. What do you want the final product to look like? and…
2. Why do you want to bring it into existence?

OK…got that stuff figured out? Good.

I’m sure you must have figured out that the universe would be no fun to control if there weren’t some fairly intelligent creatures you could rule over. I mean…who wants to tell a bunch of planets, moons, and stars what to do?

So…it would probably be a good idea to take some of those elements and see if you could stir them together and make some interactive beings. Personally I think this would be the hardest part of the whole thing, but maybe you’ve already got some good ideas on how to do this.

Next…once you have a couple of those “beings” formed, see if you can devise a way for them to procreate. You certainly don’t want to have to go make new ones every time you turn around or get bored. Am I right? And if they make new ones, that just means you’ll have even more to control.

Yippee.

Now, when you get a bunch of these creatures making things and starting their own ideas and building houses and such…that’s when you move in and show them how it’s all done. After all…they wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. And they’ll probably just bend over backwards trying to find ways to thank you for controlling their lives.

Once that all begins to happen, you’ll really thank me for sharing how to control the universe.

Of course…if it all sounds like too much work, you could just leave the whole universe in the hands of someone who really knows what He’s doing. That’s the option I’ve chosen, and I gotta tell you…it’s such a relief to know I’m not in charge of things like…

• Gravity
• Oxygen
• Water
• Sunlight
• Moon dimensions…etc…etc…etc

Anytime you feel like you’re ready to give up the idea of how to control the universe…or even just the world around you…pray.

Pray to the God of Creation and thank Him that He made you, the world, the universe, and everything in it. Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you, and here’s the lyrics to and a song download about that very thing…

Thank God

In the best of times, where’s the challenge?
In the worst of times, where’s your choice?
And in the fevered pitch, where’s the silence?
When the love is breached, where’s the voice?
Could you have your very life taken from you
While the world stood at your feet?
Wouldn’t that completely stop and numb you?
Wouldn’t you admit defeat?
Well, thank God He didn’t leave it up to you…
Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you. (repeat)

In the darkest hours, who’s your Father?
In the scheme of things, who’s the One?
And in the best laid plans, who’s the Spirit?
When your heart is healed, who’s the Son?
Could you let your very blood be taken
For your friends who’d run away?
Wouldn’t all your faith and hope be shaken?
Would you even think to pray?

Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you…
(repeat twice)

© 2009 Tony Funderburk

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