In 1975 I worked in a disco. Just writing those words sounds crazy to me now. But it’s true. At that time, disco music was big. And if you don’t know what disco was, then you might be too young to be reading this. So, make sure your parents say it’s OK to proceed.
Anyway…disco music was the thang.
Just do a search for disco music. And you can find some of the awesome (and I use that adjective loosely) pictures of what was going on back then. Or you can save your eyes and skip the search. Just kidding. Sort of
But I didn’t bring up the subject of disco music to discuss whether or not it had any redeeming qualities. No, I have something much more fantastic in mind. A certain Captain, to be more precise. And to be even more precise, I’m talking about “Captain Fantastic.”
In case you’re not familiar with Captain Fantastic, that’s the title of a bestselling album, by Elton John, from way back in 1975.
Now, you might be thinking, “Yeah, yeah…whatever. Tell me more about your disco days.”
Well, that’s just it. I AM. Because, believe it or not, Captain Fantastic actually connects to my days as a bartender in a disco.
One day, during a shift at the disco, I told a fellow bartender that I knew every word to every Elton John album. And that included the “new” one, Captain Fantastic. For some strange reason, that baffles me to this day, the fellow bartender didn’t believe me. And he started challenging me.
But those challenges were shot down again and again.
Because, if I tell you I can do something, I CAN do it. I won’t even bring it up otherwise.
But every time an Elton John song would come up, the other bartender would expect me to sing along without missing any words. And I’d happily oblige. So, word of my lyrical prowess spread through the staff. And, so did word of my singing ability. And that ability got me out of some work at the end of a long evening shift.
Because, at the end of our shifts, we had to clean up after a thousand patrons (no exaggeration). So, that meant tons of drink cups, tables to be cleaned off, floors to be swept, bars to be wiped down, etc. And while we all worked, the disco DJ would play…uh…good songs. NOT disco.
One of those was a song off the Captain Fantastic album, “Better Off Dead.” The other employees asked the DJ to let me sing along with it when he played it (or basically any Elton John song), and the DJ agreed.
So, while my fellow workers cleaned up the place, I sang along with Better Off Dead. I’d do the main vocal, the second harmony, the third, and back again. It was a blast. Here’s the chorus to that song…
‘Cause the steam’s in the boiler, the coal’s in the fire
If you ask how I am, then I’ll just say inspired
If the thorn of a rose, is the thorn in your side
Then you’re better off dead, if you haven’t yet died
Back then, I was a big Elton John fan. It was because of him that I figured out how to make my way around a keyboard. And I could sing Elton John songs better than Elton John (hey, like Babe Ruth said, “It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true.”)
But now, of course, I’ve found out much more about Elton. And I vehemently oppose his lifestyle choice and his worldview. I wish he would repent and trust his Creator and live forever in Heaven. But that certainly doesn’t seem imminent, to say the least.
So, right now, Mr. John would definitely NOT be better off dead. Quite the opposite. He has an extremely comfortable, lavish life in the here and now. His eternity doesn’t look so bright. So, in that regard…
I’m Better Off
I think we can agree…I’m not better than you.
It isn’t very hard to believe that it’s true.
But let me say this now, and I hope you won’t scoff…
Though I’m not better than…I know I’m better off.
I’m better off…
If you say there is no Jesus and no Truth that ever frees us.
I’m better off…
If you say no bright tomorrow can erase all of your sorrow.
I’m better off…
For a multitude of reasons, an eternity of seasons.
I’m better off…
When I leave this dark theater, I’ll go live with the Creator.
So, I’m not better than any person who sins.
No, that’s an argument where no one ever wins.
But try to understand, and don’t grumble and cough,
When I say “trust the Lord“, and you’ll be better off.
© 2014 Tony Funderburk
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