Milktoast. Also sometimes spelled milquetoast, but only people who care about which word is proper and which one is what’s popular. But I didn’t bring up the word to share a grammar or spelling lesson. No, I actually wanna share a couple of things about communal parenting. And I realize you’re probably all for it. But hear me out.
There are some mildly important reasons not to go with communal parenting.
Certain studies show that communal parenting creates the “potential for inconsistent parenting methods and values.” And those studies also show that, “When multiple adults are involved, there can be conflicting rules, expectations, and disciplinary methods.” But worse than that is how that “inconsistency can confuse children and hinder their sense of security and stability.”
What?! Well, who could’ve ever foreseen that problem?
You know what? I think you’re gonna find this incredibly difficult to believe. But according to research, “Strong attachment bonds are essential for a child’s emotional and psychological development. So, when a child is raised by a village, the attachment between the child and their primary caregivers might get diluted. And this can negatively impact the child’s sense of trust and emotional security.”
Hey, wait a second. This information isn’t helping to build trust in communal parenting. So, maybe we should move on to more solid ground. On to something the community can really provide. Accountability.
Oops.
Turns out that “in a village-style upbringing, there might be a diffusion of responsibility, where no single adult feels fully accountable for the child’s upbringing.” Uh-oh. That sounds like potential for a “not my job” attitude. But maybe that’s just me.
OK, then. Let’s at least admit the benefit of multiculturalism.
Hmm…nope. That’s another area where communal parenting doesn’t shine (I’m seein’ a pattern form here). No, apparently “different members of a community may have varying cultural, social, and moral values.” No kidding.
And this differences can “lead to conflicting influences on the child.” And all that conflict can “make it challenging for the child to develop a clear, coherent sense of identity and values.”
Don’t tell me there are still some old-fashioned backwoods people who are still concerned about that nonsense.
Actually you don’t have to tell me. Because I KNOW there are wonderful people who still passionately care about their kids’ (yes, their kids, not the community’s kids) identities and values. And I know there are MANY Americans who are passionately opposed to so much of what the community says is “good for kids.” Especially when it comes to the health and wellness of those kids.
And, according to more data, “legal responsibilities and rights of caregivers may become complicated in a communal environment. Because without clear, accountable, legal guardianship, there can be issues regarding who makes decisions for the child’s health, education, and welfare.”
So, all of those are good reasons to oppose the village.
But there’s one reason that tops them all.
Because a family with parents and children is designed by God. One man, married to one woman. And the two of them procreate kids. And those kids are human beings who should be raised by a dad and mom who love them. Plus, they should be raised with a love that helps the kids know their gifts and talents. Raised by the ones who made them. With the kind of love those parents received from the One who made THEM.
All I’ve shared with you here is just a glimpse into why I write rhymes and reasons filled with salt and light. And why I share messages of faith, hope, and love with kids AND adults instead of dystopian darkness.
So, if you believe more of that kind of writing should be available, I’d certainly appreciate your support in my Rhyme and Reason Bookshop. It’s a little light in choices right now because I have tons of files to work on. But there’ll be more for you to download and enjoy with the kids before long.
Jump on the The FunderFlash. And join the growing band of believers who are getting updates on when more books will be available. Plus, I’ll send you a free book and some music just for jumping on. Till then…
Stay tuned,
